Managing Thanksgiving Anxiety with Gratitude, Acceptance, and Self-Compassion
Thanksgiving is often heralded as a time for family, food, and fun. However, for many people, it can also be a time of stress, tension, and anxiety. Whether it’s navigating complex family dynamics, dealing with the pressure of holiday perfectionism, or feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of planning and expectations, Thanksgiving can easily become a source of anxiety rather than a time of celebration.
If you’re already feeling anxious about Thanksgiving, you’re not alone. The good news is that there are several practices you can use to manage and even reduce that anxiety. By incorporating gratitude, acceptance, and self-compassion into your holiday routine, you can create a more peaceful and grounded experience, regardless of what the day brings.
In this post, we’ll explore how you can use these three powerful practices to reduce anxiety and make this Thanksgiving more enjoyable and fulfilling.
1. Gratitude: Shifting Focus from Stress to Appreciation
Gratitude is one of the most well-researched and effective ways to manage anxiety. By shifting your focus from what is causing you stress to what you are thankful for, you can reframe your experience and cultivate a sense of calm. Thanksgiving, in particular, is a natural time to practice gratitude—after all, it’s what the holiday is all about!
How Gratitude Helps Manage Anxiety:
When we’re anxious, our brains tend to focus on the worst-case scenarios or everything that could go wrong. Gratitude interrupts that cycle by drawing our attention to the positive things in our lives, helping to lower stress and boost our mood. Practicing gratitude can help reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety—like racing thoughts and tightness in the chest—and shift our mindset from scarcity and worry to abundance and appreciation.
How to Practice Gratitude on Thanksgiving:
Start the Day with Gratitude: Begin Thanksgiving morning by writing down 3–5 things you are grateful for. These can be big things, like your family and health, or smaller, everyday things, like a cup of coffee or the warmth of the sun. When you start the day with gratitude, you set a positive tone for the rest of the holiday.
Use a Gratitude Jar: If you’re celebrating with others, consider setting up a "gratitude jar" where each person can write down something they’re thankful for during the day. Later, you can read them aloud as a group. This simple practice can help create a sense of connection and remind everyone of the positive aspects of the day.
Mindful Moments of Gratitude: Throughout the day, take small pauses to reflect on what you’re grateful for in the present moment. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths and silently say to yourself, “I’m grateful for the food on the table, the people in the room, and the chance to take a break.”
By making gratitude a central part of your day, you can actively counterbalance the anxious thoughts and feelings that often come with Thanksgiving.
2. Acceptance: Letting Go of Perfection and Control
Many of us experience anxiety around the holidays because we try to control too many factors—whether it's the way the meal will turn out, how everyone will behave, or whether the day will be "perfect." Thanksgiving, like any holiday, is rarely perfect. People have different personalities, preferences, and expectations, and things rarely go exactly as planned.
Acceptance is the practice of embracing life as it is, rather than how we wish it would be. When we accept the reality of situations (and ourselves), we reduce the pressure that fuels anxiety.
How Acceptance Helps Manage Anxiety:
Acceptance isn’t about giving up—it’s about making peace with the present moment, including all the imperfections and uncertainties that come with it. By accepting things as they are, we stop fighting against reality, which can be a major source of anxiety. It’s about making room for the discomfort that might arise, without feeling like you have to fix everything immediately.
How to Practice Acceptance on Thanksgiving:
Accept Imperfection: The Thanksgiving meal may not be a Pinterest-worthy masterpiece, and not everyone may get along perfectly. Let go of the need for everything to go as planned. The more you accept that things won’t be perfect, the less anxiety you’ll feel when something goes awry. Remember, your loved ones are there for the experience, not the perfection.
Embrace What You Can’t Control: There will be many elements of Thanksgiving you simply can’t control—other people’s behavior, how much food is left, how others engage in conversations. Practice accepting that you can’t control everything. Instead of trying to manage every moment, allow yourself to be present and enjoy what’s happening, even if it’s messy or imperfect.
Use "It Is What It Is": When something feels overwhelming or frustrating, use the phrase, “It is what it is.” This simple mantra can help you release the need to control the situation and accept it for what it is. By doing so, you allow yourself to move through the day without holding onto stress or frustration.
Acceptance allows you to release the tension of trying to control every moment of the day, and instead, just be in the moment.
3. Self-Compassion: Being Kind to Yourself During Stressful Moments
Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and patience that you would offer a friend. It’s an antidote to the harsh self-criticism and judgment that often come with anxiety, and it’s especially important during stressful times like Thanksgiving.
During the holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in self-criticism, especially if you’re trying to meet external expectations (like being a perfect host or giving the perfect gift). Self-compassion helps you avoid falling into a cycle of negative self-talk, which only fuels anxiety.
How Self-Compassion Helps Manage Anxiety:
When you practice self-compassion, you’re more likely to acknowledge and accept your difficult emotions without getting swept away by them. Instead of berating yourself for not being able to manage it all, you treat yourself with kindness and understanding. This reduces the intensity of anxiety and increases your ability to cope with stress.
How to Practice Self-Compassion on Thanksgiving:
Talk to Yourself Like a Friend: If you start feeling overwhelmed or anxious about something, ask yourself, "What would I say to a friend who was feeling this way?" Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel stressed, anxious, or imperfect. You don’t have to have everything figured out. You are doing the best you can.
Set Boundaries with Yourself: If you feel like you’re taking on too much—whether it’s overcommitting to plans or trying to do all the cooking—allow yourself the space to say no. Self-compassion means honoring your limits and acknowledging that you don’t have to do everything. Setting boundaries is an important act of self-care.
Practice Mindful Self-Compassion: When you feel anxious, take a moment to place your hand on your heart and take a deep breath. Silently tell yourself, “This is a hard moment, but I’m here for myself. I’m allowed to feel this way, and I’ll get through it.” This simple practice of mindfulness and compassion can help soothe your anxiety in real time.
Self-compassion helps you to be gentle with yourself and to accept your emotions as they are. When you’re kind to yourself, you create emotional resilience, making it easier to navigate stress and anxiety with grace.
Final Thoughts: A Peaceful Thanksgiving is Possible
While Thanksgiving can be stressful, practicing gratitude, acceptance, and self-compassion can help you manage anxiety and make the day more enjoyable. These three practices allow you to let go of unrealistic expectations, embrace the imperfections of life, and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.
Here’s a recap of how to apply these strategies:
Gratitude: Shift your focus to what you’re thankful for, no matter how small the moments of appreciation may seem.
Acceptance: Let go of perfectionism and embrace the imperfections of the holiday—accept things as they are, without judgment.
Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially when you feel overwhelmed. Treat yourself with the same care and understanding you would offer a friend.
This Thanksgiving, instead of focusing on what’s out of your control, try to bring more peace and ease into your life by practicing these simple yet powerful tools. With a little intention and a lot of self-compassion, you can reduce anxiety and create a more grounded, fulfilling holiday experience.
What practices help you manage holiday anxiety? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
