When most people think about anxiety, their immediate reaction is, "I just want it to go away." But here's an unpopular opinion: We don’t want anxiety to disappear entirely. The goal of anxiety therapy isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but rather to change your relationship with it.

When anxiety strikes, it's natural to want to understand its source. After all, if you can figure out why you're anxious, you might be able to solve the problem, right? Unfortunately, that's not always the case. In fact, focusing on the "why" can often do more harm than good. Here’s why understanding the cause of your anxiety may not be the answer you’re looking for.

In the realm of anxiety management, our mindset plays a pivotal role in how we perceive and respond to challenges. Often, our default mode of thinking can either amplify our anxiety or empower us to navigate through it with resilience. This is where the shift from rigid to flexible thinking becomes not just beneficial, but transformative.

Anxiety has a sneaky way of making us want to retreat, to shut down, and to avoid whatever makes us feel uneasy. Whether it’s putting off a difficult conversation, procrastinating on a project, or avoiding social situations, these actions seem to offer temporary relief from discomfort. That relief from discomfort gives us the false notion of protection from discomfort. However, it actually maintains the cycle of anxiety and reinforces anxiety’s grip on you over time.

How getting stuck in the content keeps you anxious.

I hear it all the time, “but that thing makes me anxious,” or, “they can’t go there because that particular place triggers anxiety.” When you get stuck in the details of what’s making you anxious you miss the big picture and keep swirling in anxiety.

How approaching anxiety head on can be a game changer. Anxiety is rooted in avoidance. When anxiety get's the message of danger it’s initial reaction is to get out of that situation, and get out fast. Typically you may be then met with some level of relief. Phew, you escaped that danger, you won the battle. However, when you avoid your worry you do the opposite of winning.

Avoidance gives anxiety strength and power. It allows fear to gain momentum. Avoidance reinforces the message in your brain that whatever made you anxious was worth being anxious about. After that momentary relief dwindles away the worry always returns, and it returns stronger. Over time, repeated avoidance can lead to increased anxiety and immense difficulty in facing even the mildest of stressors.

So what can you do? How can you change this course? The answer is in feeling that anxiety and moving towards what makes you anxious anyway.