Dealing with Resistance and Shutdown in Anxiety
Seven key tips to break free from resistance, shutdown, and avoidance in anxiety.
Anxiety has a sneaky way of making us want to retreat, to shut down, and to avoid whatever makes us feel uneasy. Whether it’s putting off a difficult conversation, procrastinating on a project, or avoiding social situations, these actions seem to offer temporary relief from discomfort. That relief from discomfort gives us the false notion of protection. However, it actually maintains the cycle of anxiety and reinforces anxiety’s grip on you over time.
Think of it this way … you have an important deadline looming, but instead of tackling it head-on, you find yourself cleaning the house, checking social media, or doing anything but starting the task. Each delay increases the anxiety about the task, making it seem even more daunting.
Maybe you decline invitations or make excuses to leave early because the thought of being around people makes you uneasy. While it may provide immediate relief from social anxiety, it also limits opportunities for connection and reinforces the fear of social interaction.
Or you find yourself overplanning and preparing to make sure things are perfect. While planning and preparation are important, excessive focus on every detail and potential outcome can become a way to avoid dealing with the underlying anxiety about uncertainty and potential failure.
Another sneaky resistance and avoidance behavior you can get stuck in is reassurance seeking. You might find yourself constantly seeking reassurance from others about your worries to temporarily alleviate anxiety. However, this reassurance creates a cycle where you rely on others’ validation rather than building your own confidence in managing uncertainty.
On the flip side, when overwhelmed by anxiety, you may emotionally withdraw from others. This shutdown can manifest as becoming quiet, distant, or disengaged in conversations or activities, as a way to protect yourself from feeling vulnerable.
Anxiety often fuels self-doubt and harsh self-criticism. You may tell yourself you’re not capable or worthy, which reinforces the belief that avoiding challenges is safer than facing them.
Avoidance, resistance, and shut down only gives anxiety more power.
Recognizing these patterns is key to breaking free.
So, what can you do when you feel that resistance creeping in?
Acknowledge It: When you notice yourself wanting to shut down or avoid, recognize it for what it is—anxiety trying to take control. Say to yourself, "I see what’s happening here."
Breathe Through It: Take a deep breath. Inhale courage, exhale fear. This simple act helps to ground you and reminds your body that you’re safe right now, in this moment.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Anxiety loves to fill your mind with worst-case scenarios. Ask yourself, "Is this thought helpful or true?" Challenge the catastrophic thinking with more balanced, realistic thoughts.
Break It Down: Sometimes, anxiety overwhelms because the task seems too big or daunting. Break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on what you can do right now, rather than worrying about everything at once.
Reach Out: You don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Sharing your feelings can lighten the load and provide a different perspective.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that anxiety is a natural response, but it doesn’t define you. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.
Take Action: Finally, take a small step forward. It doesn’t have to be a leap—just a gentle movement towards facing what makes you anxious. Each small step builds resilience and weakens anxiety’s grip.
Remember, it’s okay to feel anxious, and it’s okay to experience resistance. The key is in how you respond. With patience, self-awareness, and gentle persistence, you can gradually reduce anxiety’s hold and reclaim your sense of calm and control.
