Helping Your Child Manage Holiday Anxiety: Navigating Uncertainty and Routine Changes
The holiday season is full of joy, excitement—and let’s be real—a fair amount of stress, especially if your child struggles with anxiety. Changes in routine, unpredictable schedules, and sensory overload can lead to emotional outbursts that leave everyone feeling frazzled. Sound familiar? You’re not alone, and the good news is there are ways to help your child feel more grounded.
Why Holiday Anxiety Happens
Kids with anxiety thrive on routines. When holiday plans shake up their usual schedule, their brains can go into overdrive, triggering the classic “fight or flight” response. Add in the extra noise, crowded gatherings, and pressure to be on their “best behavior,” and it’s no wonder they might struggle.
It’s Normal—And You Can Help
First, let’s normalize this. Feeling anxious during the holidays is common for kids (and adults!). You can say things like:
“I know this time of year can feel overwhelming with so much going on.”
“It’s okay to feel upset when things don’t go as planned. Everyone feels that way sometimes.”
When you validate their feelings, you help them feel understood, which can calm their emotional storm.
Simple, Research-Backed Strategies That Work
Using ideas from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), here are some practical tips to ease your child’s holiday anxiety:
1. Expect Anxiety and Talk About It
Let your child know anxiety is expected during changes and new experiences. Naming it takes away some of its power.
Say This: “Sometimes our brains get really loud when we don’t know what’s coming next. We can’t stop those thoughts, but we can still show up and have fun.”
2. Create a Loose Plan (But Stay Flexible)
Give your child a general idea of what to expect while leaving room for changes.
Example: “We’re going to Grandma’s at 2 PM. We might stay for dinner if everyone’s feeling good.”
3. Practice Tolerating Uncertainty
Try small “uncertainty challenges” to help your child build tolerance for the unknown.
Example: “We’re going on an adventure after lunch! It’s a surprise, but I know you can handle not knowing for a little while.”
4. Limit Reassurance
It’s tempting to keep answering your child’s anxious questions, but too much reassurance can backfire. Help them lean into uncertainty.
Say This: “I know you want to ask again who will be at the party. Let’s be curious and find out when we get there.”
5. Focus on Values, Not Comfort
Help your child connect their actions to what’s important to them—even when they feel nervous.
Say This: “I know you feel shy about talking to new cousins, but being friendly is important to you. What’s one small way you could say hi?”
6. Build in Breaks
Schedule quiet time to help your child recharge.
Offer This: “Let’s find a quiet spot together when you need a break.”
You’ve Got This
The holidays can be unpredictable, but they’re also a chance for growth. By normalizing your child’s feelings, validating their experiences, and using these simple strategies, you can help them navigate the season with more confidence. Remember, it’s not about eliminating anxiety—it’s about showing your child they can handle it, one holiday moment at a time.
Ready to ease your child’s holiday anxiety?
Get your FREE digital download: Calm and Bright: 3 Simple Ways to Ease Your Child's Holiday Anxiety.
Inside, you’ll find practical strategies to help manage your child’s stress during this busy time — so your family can enjoy a more peaceful holiday season.
