Thriving in the Transition from School to Summer.

When school ends, children are often filled with excitement about the freedom from academics. However, parents of children who struggle with anxiety can often be left wondering, where is my carefree child? 

Children with anxiety can struggle with transitions and Summer is no different. They are used to their days being filled with familiarity and routine. Entering Summer can be full of all sorts of different days and hours making it easy to feel overwhelmed.

Think about it, the start of Summer is FULL of change ….

• The end of the school year

• Saying goodbye to teachers they have grown to know and trust 

• Perhaps ending the first year at a new school

• Or saying goodbye to a school they have been at for a long time

• They could be starting camp … going on vacation … having endless unstructured moments …
  

All of that comes with unknowns such as …

• Who am I going to be with? 

• Who won’t I see? 

• Will I ever see them again? 

These big unknowns and uncertainties are where anxiety THRIVES. Anxiety needs certainty. It demands it. If it doesn’t have it then it gets loud, upset, angry. But the reality is, we don’t have all the answers. And a child’s brain has a hard time processing all of that combined with all the changes going on around them.

So what can you do? Start with these tips:

• Name it - Identify & label the feeling your child may be experiencing. For example, “it can be hard to say goodbye to your old school,” or, “a new camp can feel big and scary.” 

• Externalize it - Instead of, “I am anxious,” adjust it to, “my worry is telling me this is going to be scary.”  By pushing your anxiety outside of yourself you gain power to talk back to it.

• Frontload - Talk with your child about what the worst case scenario may be. Ask your child “how would you handle that?” to promote critical thinking. Identify what is known about the situation. Create a plan around what to expect and how to react when that happens. This reinforces confidence, access to information and problem solving skills. 

• Identify 2-3 coping skills - This can be belly breathing, mindfulness, or brainstorm a helpful mantra.

  • Engage in diaphragmatic breathing. 20 seconds of slow inhales and exhales (I like to use the metaphor of smell the flowers, blow out the candles to teach children how to successfully take a deep breath) is all it takes to signal to the brain that it can call off the cavalry and begin resetting. 

  • Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method to engage their senses and take them out of the anxious response. Start by naming …

    • 5 things you can see

    • 4 things you can touch (bonus points, actually touch the object and describe how it feels)

    • 3 things you can hear

    • 2 things you can smell

    • 1 think you can taste

  • When creating a mantra or affirmation remember to stay positive, stay present, stay believable. For example, “I am in control of my thoughts, emotions, and actions today.

• Approach, don't avoid - Find small ways to approach worry daily to build confidence. Support your child as they practice these strategies by saying to your child, “your worry doesn’t scare me,” and, “we can do this together.”

Spending just 10 minutes per day on these tips can prevent those big feelings that can derail a fun Summer. There is so much that is new and exciting with the start of Summer. Use these tips to keep the anxiety in manageable and excitement high. 

At the end of the day remember, the transition to Summer is a change and adjusting to change takes time. Give your kids, and yourself, time to move through these feelings, process and accept what they’re going through. With time, practice, and patience, the summer will get easier!